Will You?

Hazel O'Connor's "Will You?" brings back memories that lasted for several years of the childhood crush that could have developed into a grown up relationship, but didn't quite make it.

I will just write some of the lyrics in case you are not familiar with the song, I know them by heart.

• You drink your coffee
• and I sip my tea and
• we're sitting here playing it cool
• thinking what will be will be
• It's getting kind of late now
• I wonder if you'll stay now
• Stay Now
• or Will you just politely say "goodnight"
• I move a little closer to you
• Not knowing quite what to do
• and I'm feeling all fingers and thumbs
• I spill my tea , Oh silly me!
• And then we touch much to much
• The moment has been waiting for
• a long long time,
• your shiver makes me quiver
• This moment I'm am so unsure
• This moment I've been waiting for......

Jamie was the "new kid in town", he caused quite a stir amoung us young girls when we were about 10/11! He was one year older. He arrived from Canada, very exotic for Norfolk people. His dad was a farmer , and sadly his mum had died leaving him alone so he was brought over the England to live with his dad and grandad. He was very handsome and sight of him sent a visible buzz round the village. " Jamie's been seen out on his bike" so we'd all go out on our bikes to try and spot him.

I was the lucky one as he lived at the end of my lane, and came past my house regularly. I soon developed a huge crush on him and spent many of my waking hours day dreaming about him. But he was quite elusive and as he didn't go to our school there was no opportunity to talk to him, so I just worshipped him from afar!

When I started secondary school 1973, my opportunity to see him more was greatly enhanced, as he travelled on the same bus in the after noon, he went on a later bus in the morning, as he only went to Wroxham and I had to get to Norwich. But we had to bike the 2 miles to and from the bus stop. Every afternoon, I would rush out of school to get the early bus in the hope of being able to see him and perhaps get to talk to him and ride our bikes home together, but he was terribly shy and although he'd mumble "Hi" as we got off the bus, he'd rush and grab his bike and be off at a race of knots so me and my friend couldn't catch up and of course I couldn't tell my friend I had a crush on him, it was too embarrassing, so she saw no need to rush and used to say snidy remarks about him!

This crush continued for a further 3 years, when we had a New Youth Club open in the village, things started to develop, I got myself on the committee and so did Jamie, and suddenly we found ourselves doing things together, he'd call for me to bike to a committee meeting and we'd talk quite a lot, but he never asked me out. I was getting really frustrated. In the end I was taking to a girl friend and she asked me if I really liked Jamie and if I'd go out with him, and I admitted I would and asked for her help. Jamie was her brother's best friend, so she saw him at her house all the time. There was a Youth Club disco coming up soon and so we agreed that she would find out if he would go out with me, it turned out he said "YES"! So come the night of the disco, I was so nervous and confused and so was he, we skirted around each other, but in the end I grabbed him to dance, this was to Dr Hook's "A Little bit More!" which became our theme tune, in a sense. After such a shy start I was quite surprized by the intensity at which he kissed me . At last after all those years of worshipping from afar I got my "boy"! For a few weeks we were together evcry day, it was winter time so once we'd ridden our bikes home we'd stand outside my house in the dark kissing until my mum would come out and tell us off and invite him in! But it didn't last having wanted him for so long, it was a bit boring to have achievd my goal, so after a couple of months I finished with him. I'm so fickle! The I regretted it and wanted to have him back, but he'd moved on by then......................

...............................................................................................

Jump ahead to 1981 . I'm at University but coming home for the summer, my friend, who helped me all those years ago to "Go out with" Jamie, is getting married, she invites me +1 to the wedding. I do not have a significant other at the time and I know that Jamie has split from his long erm fiancee, I also know that Jamie is planning on going back to Canada. I desperatley want to see him before he goes. So the invite is a good excuse to ring him. He is still living in the house at the end of the lane, by now he is living there alone as his dad has remarried and gone back to Canada.

I pick up the phone with huge tredidation, my hand shakes as I dial the number , he answers, my throat dries up and I can hardly speak. I stumble over my words but just manage to get out who I am and ask him if he'd come to the wedding with me. To my huge suerprize he accepts! He then invites me to come up to thre house sometime, we don't make a definite arrangement but he says he'll call for me as he's passing one evening. I know his car noise of by heart as he drives past hurtling down the lane with engine roaring. He drives an old battered Ford Cortina, in Bright Yellow, you can't miss it!

One evening I'm sitting in my room when I hear the car, this time it doesn't roar past but stops, then I hear the tinkle of stones on the bedroom window, just like he used to do when we were kids and he wanted to see me.

I ran down and found him in the lane, he opened the door of the car and I jumped in, I wasn't sure quite what i was doing, but I was very excited.

We got to his house and he showed me in , it was so weird, I'd never been in the house before, but it has a strong connection for me, as this is the very house where my dad was born.

We talk and laugh and he makes me a cup of tea and he has coffee, this is where the song comes in, almost word for word happened to us that evening, I do spill my tea , I bruised my elbow of his sofa as we touch too much, but in the end I ask to be taken home. And we "politely say Good night". It's difficult to explain why I stopped , but it didn't seem right , and oh how i regretted not staying. He didn't ask me again, but we did go to the wedding together. And a few months later he called in to say he was off to Canada, we hugged "goodbye", and I've never seen or heard from him again.