A few memories .............

Do you have items of furniture in your house that you would like to be rid of but can't?

And "No" before you ask I'm not collecting to start up a Junk Shop!

Today is the 6th anniversary of Stan's dad's death, in the end he was glad to die, he had been alone for 10 years since Stan's mum died. He had prostate cancer and then had several strokes.

The event of mother in law's death was a dreadful shock and very untimely. Mother was only 66 and appeared to be in good health, she was a wonderful person and so good to me and the children. Thinking about our discussions yesterday she helped enormously in enabling me to go back to work . Her and father used to have Evie one day a week, instead of using the child minder all the time. They loved having her and used to spoil her lots. Then Sophie came along and when I went back to work after 6 months, I had to use a new child minder for 2 days but Mother and father started having Evie & Sophie for one day again.

I went back to work in Jan 91, Sophie learnt to walk in the April, watched and recorded on father's video recorder, wonderful footage of Evie dragging Sophie around on the floor, no wonder she was so determined to learn to walk early!!

In June 91 Mother and father went on an extended holiday to Australia. That was the last I saw of my dear Mother-in-law, she died suddenly of a heart block whilst staying with their good friend Shirley. I'll never forgot that day, I was at home when the telephone rang, it was father calling from Australia, the time lag made it difficult to comprehend but he told me Mother had died, he was trying not to cry and I took several moments to comprehend what he was telling me. After putting ther phone down I knew I had to tell Stan, I couldn't get him on the mobile so I drove the 15 miles to his workshop , tears falling down my face, but strangely numb, that kind of feeling of being outside your body and not really part of what is going on. Telling Stan was awful, he just broke down crying and shouting, "No, No No," . We spent to next few days in a state of shock with Stan's brother and family just waiting for father to come home and bring mother with him.

I had a strange premonition the day before that dreaded phone call, I was driving home from work, listening to the radio, in a world of my own, as I travelled the well worn route , when suddenly this voice came into my head, it said " Don't worry, I'm alright, all will be well" It gave me a jolt, and I didn't understand what it meant or who the message was from. I even told Stan that night, and he said he had a feeling a "Doom & Gloom" around him...........then the next day we heard to news. Any connection, what do you think? I believe it was mother telling me what was to happen and not wanting me to worry.

Easier said than done, losing Mother triggered my grief and depression, I blame it partly on Post natal depression but losing her probably triggered it more because she had been my rock, my own parents & family were so far away in Norfolk, and I relied on her and father. Father continued to be a great source of support but I had to support him and Stan through their grief too as well as bringing up the children.

Father could be quite difficult and demanding and he and Stan used to have words at times, "chalk and cheese" you could say. But Father was very generous and loved to buy things for the girls, he would visit every week and he would always have a little surprise, "What hand is it in ?" He would always ask , and keep swapping from hand to hand to confuse them, they used to laugh so much! He would come with me and the girls swimming, it was the only way I could take both of them and he enjoyed it too, it got him out of the house.

Father never really approved of the way Stan made his living through cars and felt he should have had an office job! If I was in need of something, say the freezer broke down , Father would buy it. Stan never saw the need for new things and wouldn't ever buy new furniture, so I've had to make do with secondhand everything. Lots of furniture came from Stan's Great Aunt, it wasn't as if it was nice antiques just old tat really, but whoobetide if anyone tried to discard things. Since Father died we inherited some rather nice pieces, a lovely old Dresser , father's desk and chair and Pine Kitchen tables and chairs, these I am happy to keep!

But for the first 5 years of our marriage I had to sleep on his Aunts old bed for years, it was broken down one side and we had to wedge an old paint tin under it to hold it up, the matress was lumpy and just so old and disgusting, Stan couldn't see the problem, he loved the bed! Eventually I saved enough money to buy a new bed for us and what a fuss he made when it was delivered! I doubt I'll ever get another new bed !!

Then there is Stan's Chair, His Reclining Leather chair that he sits in to watch TV, he has had it since 1979 and it looked beautiful when I first saw it but now the leather is all tattered and frayed and it has to be covered with a throw, but will he let me throw it out and get him a new one. HE WILL NOT. Stan was 50 last year I thought I'll buy him a new chair, but in the end I daren't because he'd not use it and the old one would still be there. He hates anything new. Clothes have to be bought and left lying around for some weeks before he will wear them, the older the better....................Strange man, nothing like his Dad, who would look so smart and care about what people thought, not Stan!! But he's happy and who am I to say what he should and shouldn't do!! But I would like a new Sofa soon...................some hope!!